I read Twilight right after my roommate did. While she was reading it she would share little tidbits with me and we would not swoon so much as laugh until tears came.
He watches her sleep? Don't they call that stalking?
He's too good looking to be a model? Has anyone seen the models these days?
He has an alabaster brow! Someone has been reading too much Anne of Green Gables.
HE SPARKLES!!!!!
You know. Stuff like that. So I was kind of biased when I read it by myself. And it took me a month when it took everyone else about a day.
But I saw the movie, and I didn't think it was half bad. Bella didn't whine as much. The vampires were pretty cool. It was shorter than the book, so, plus. So I thought I would try reading it again. And I now have a different opinion.
I think I would have loved Twilight . . . 20 years ago. New Moon and Eclipse were okay. Again, as a teenager, I would have probably followed Edward Cullen to the ends of the earth. However, What the heck was Breaking Dawn about?! I could have written that book better. One of my students could have written it better. They just couldn't have spelled it. It was a waste of paper, ink and my time.
Also, I don't see his attraction to Bella. If I whined like that, I would never ever have a date. My suggestion for Edward would be this: she smells so good? Eat her. You've got an eternity to find someone less annoying. And, no Breaking Dawn, so plus.
But after venting this over and over and hearing people tell me they were shocked. (They were sure that out of everyone, I was the one that was supposed to love these books. After all, I'm the one who loves books, right?) I realized that I also have some books on my shelves that are pretty stupid that I read over and over. Because I love them. And no one else would understand. These books have no brain nutritional content whatsoever. But their spines are bent and the covers are torn. So, to those of you who love Twilight and can't believe I don't, I give you my list of marshmallow books to show you I too am shallow:
- Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife: a sequel to Pride and Prejudice - this book is so poorly written and yet, I just finished it for the third time. Who among us hasn't wondered what happened after the wedding? At least now I know which boring parts to skip (anything to do with Wickham).
- Prince Joe (and the rest of the Tall, Dark, and Dangerous series) - These were some Harlequins I came across years ago at a used bookstore. The author has become rather famous and I like her newer books too but these are her first and best books. They are silly and sappy and corny. They are the only Harlequin Romances I own, back when a kiss was the steamiest thing in the book. Sigh.
- Susanna and Caroline (and the rest of the Sunfire series) - When I was 12 I ordered Susanna from a Scholastic book order. It was a really thick book and it was about a 16 year old girl during the civil war. I ordered Caroline later. It was about a 16 year old girl who followed her brothers to the Gold Rush. There's a little romance a little of adventure and a lot of history. I read them until they were in tatters. Susanna's cover fell off and it was in two pieces. Then I ordered it on line a few years ago for $20. Yep. $20 for a paperback. People are collecting these books now. There are 32 books in this series and I own and love them all, but Susanna and Caroline are still my favorites.
- The Other Boleyn Girl - I know this is thought of as a very good book by some people. It is even read in book clubs and the "themes" are discussed (I ask, what themes?). But it really is just about Anne Boleyn and Henry VIII and how dysfunctional that whole place was and I love to read it. I love that Mary Boleyn gets what she deserves (land, money, family) and Anne Boleyn gets what she deserves (dead). Who can complain with a happy ending?
Maybe there was no more room in my brain for the corny and the sappy when I first read Twilight. Maybe Twilight came right when my brain had reached it's capacity.
Or maybe not.
I've been thinking I might want to pick up book one again.
Still, should heroes and pixie dust ever mix?
5 comments:
You have truly gone to the dark side! REAL MEN DON'T SPARKLE!! I prefer Mr. Darcy to Edward. I still can't stomach the thought of reading the whol Twilight series. I guess I am truly alone in a sea of twilight geeks!
I LOVED the Sunfire books too. I still have mine as well, and have recently started sharing them with Kaydee. I never owned all of them so maybe I'll have to borrow yours just like I did back when we were 12.
Sharlon, you are always welcome to borrow those books . . . or Kaydee. Whoever.
I forgot to mention the 20 or so Star Wars novels that are on my shelf . . .
Two of my Marshmellow books, and three if you count the one that started it all.... Scarlett, the sequel to Gone With The Wind (not by Margaret Mitchell, of course) and Rhett's People (The story of Rhett and his view of Scarlett) (again, not a Margaret Mitchell Book).... and really, GWTW is a marshmellow book too, but I like waiting for Scarlett to grow up and figure out she really loves Rhett and he loves her. That they are perfect for each other.
I totally agree . . . I never was a fan of Gone With the Wind, but I was always interested in the other books . . . did Scarlett ever get her act together?
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